... and the pic drive an optocoupler to drive a triac by pwm?
Not exactly, if it's not a reversed pwm and synchronized with the zero-crossing AC line.
For the first problem, if the single-phase AC motor is a PSC motor and the load is a pump/fun, you can implement a sensor-less closed-loop RPM control monitoring the RMS voltage across the motor, that only in these cases, will track (within 6%) with the speed of the pump/fun (RPM). Practically the microcontroller provides a non-linear phase-angle control to keep the speed changes linear. At this point, you can reduce the pressure pump from 4 to 3 bars.
For the second problem you need to implement a feature of soft-starting by microcontroller, creating a RPM ramp that start from a "boost" value and ends to a desired value in a certain time.