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Author Topic: A page from an engineer's cookbook  (Read 1638 times)
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Parmin
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« on: January 30, 2013, 10:56:55 22:56 »

Choc-chip cookies.

Ingredients:

1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4.) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5.) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6.) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7.) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8.) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9.) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10.) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)

Directions:

To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.

Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnstonís first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
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Ichan
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« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2013, 07:53:09 19:53 »

 Smiley Is there explanations how to eat that cookies?

-ichan
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solutions
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« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2013, 10:34:25 22:34 »

Prior to reaching equilibrium with a desired setpoint temperature specified in the process, transfer the hypo-carbohydrated candidate's spatial coordinates in two segments, firstly to a storage location containing a vitrified silica, two sided cylinder comprised of a "bottom", which is to be oriented in a vector that is collinear, yet in opposition to the gravitational force vector, and vessel walls, which may be overlayed by a fictional character from the Walt Disney Corporation.

Upon acquiring said vessel, initiate the second segment of the spatial displacement and impart motion, carefully observing Newton's Laws, in a direction towards a large metal rectangular box whose surfaces have minimized thermal emission through the use of materials with miniscule thermal conduction, and to which a heat transfer pump and either Cu or Al based area-maximized tubes for the purpose of convective heat absorption and heat transfer to ambient air, all an apparatus utilizing the reverse Rankine cycle, is thereto affixed.

When the candidate has been properly oriented, said rectangular box will be discovered to have one movable side, translatable in a cylindrical coordinate system whose z-axis is on either the leftmost or rightmost edge of the box, by imparting a tangential force to counter the attractive normal force due to the contact proximity of a non-thermally-conductive, magnet embedded, polymer gasket. Upon translating the movable side through approximately 1.570795 radians, noting the rather spontaneous emission of photons from within said box, locate a small rectangular container comprised of compressed tree pulp, coated with organic compounds that characteristically consist of long alkyl chains in order to prevent absorption of liquid phase materials, and having one or more facsimilies of homo sapiens juveniles and a native, and illegal-alien, languages query as to whether the potential individual, who is imminent in consuming the contained liquid, is aware of the temporally immediate spatial coordinates of said gutter snipe.

Orient this small rectangular container of a liquid product from modified bovine sweat glands, typically sterilized by inducing bactericide through utilization of the peer-reviewed process initially proposed by Dr. Louis Pasteur in his seminal paper "Le Termine de Bacteria Dans Lait Avec Chaud", and impart flow of the contained liquid, through the exploitation of the gravitational force vector, in such a manner so as to impart a moderate, but not excessive, flow rate into the silica-based cylinder. In doing so, care must be exercised so as to ensure mass is conserved between the small rectangular container and the silica-derived cylinder. The consequences of a failure to conserve the mass of the liquid between the two containers generally results in the emission of saline liquid droplets proximal to the candidate's optical-to-neural conversion pairs, an act which has been proven to be futile in prior studies and has been captured anecdotally in a generally accepted phrase, typically as the result of maternal advice.

Upon establishing the transfer of approximately 300ml of the modified bovine perspirate, return the translatable side of the large rectangular box to its original cylindrical coordinates, ensuring that magnetic reluctance is minimized between the polymer gasket and the surface of the large rectangular box. Failure in achieving this magnetic state typically results in excessive paternal acoustic amplitudes, typically comprised of a particular expletive being used repetitively within close word proximity, being emitted on a vector oriented towards the last known spatial coordinates of the candidate.

Should scientific curiosity ensue, note that the literature is completely devoid of peer-reviewed papers regarding the question of whether cessation of photon emission occurs upon return of the translatable side of the large rectangular box to its original coordinates. A similar paradox to that which was originally postulated by Dr Schroedinger's use of a cat analogue, since photon emitting devices, housed in refrigeration apparatus, were not generally available in his time. Many researchers, primarily juvenile, have hypothesized whether cessation of photon emissions occur, but have become fatalities during their investigation due their failure to increase the reluctance of the magnetic polymer through the application of limited, available, force.

At this point, the candidate may proceed on a direct vector to the spatial coordinates of the consumable, thermally converted, carbohydrate disks, which are the output of the process described in prior specifications within the very similar, if not identical, Universal Resource Locator. Note that the majority of investigators differ in one key aspect with the aforementioned process, whereby it has been found that the temperature of the converted carbohydrate disks achives higher satisfaction coefficients, than ambient temperature disks, when the disk cores are at approximately 10 degrees K above the nominal metabolic temperature of the consuming individual.

Typically, the gluteus maximus of the candidate is brought into contact with an h-shaped (noting the strict typography case of the term) platform prior to the next process step. In the majority of cases, research has found that immersion of the modified carbohydrate disks for extended periods of time into the modified bovine perspirate effects its absorption and desirability factor, d. Should the candidate choose to implement this optional absorption process, care must be taken to maximize the absorption, yet ensure that cohesion of the components of the modified carbohydrate disks is preserved. This minimally stable solid is then consumed, preferably orally, using methods known to those versed in the art.

Studies have shown that the aforementioned modified carbohydrate disks will continue to be consumed in conjunction with the modified bovine perspirate until the candidate's serum glucose levels rise to the point of initiating dopamine release into the pleasure centers of the central nervous system. Social convention, and genuine appreciation, both through the instillment of appropriate social convention during "the terrible twos" and general spontanaeity motivated towards future carbohydrate disk production, results in elicitation of gratitude to the individual, who is typically comprised of dna-based organic cell nuclei harboring two X chromosomes and having a vaginal relationship through penile insertion or personal exodus, who had assembled the requisite components, ensured appropriate homogenaeity, and initiated the thermal conversion of said components into a plurality of irresistible and consumable carbohydrate disks, whose molecular emissions result in olfactory stimulation and a consequential Strong attractive Force that can only be explained with String Theory.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2013, 11:08:22 23:08 by solutions » Logged
Parmin
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Very Wise (and grouchy) Old Man


« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2013, 11:49:10 23:49 »

Fark solutions, you have lots more time on your hand than I thought   Grin

I cant even find time to read all these mind numbing pointless babilages..
« Last Edit: February 01, 2013, 11:52:44 23:52 by Parmin » Logged

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Sideshow Bob
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« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2013, 12:33:55 00:33 »

Fark solutions, you have lots more time on your hand than I thought   Grin

I cant even find time to read all these mind numbing pointless babilages..
The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

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solutions
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« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2013, 05:39:00 05:39 »

Not if you train the monkey to only hit one key. then you get:

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzz...

Not to mention that there isn't enough power to run the keyboard that long.

I also resemble that remark   Grin
« Last Edit: February 02, 2013, 05:45:25 05:45 by solutions » Logged
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« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2014, 08:17:48 20:17 »

Great Writer - Microsoft error messages
http://dhansufunny.blogspot.in/2014/03/great-writer-microsoft-error-messages.html

Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
..........
...............
.....................
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
http://dhansufunny.blogspot.in/2014/03/great-writer-microsoft-error-messages.html
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